Nse Etim Ikpe is a nollywood actress and has been nominated and won some awards that prove how good she is. She features in a lot of the new nollywood movies and in a recent interview, she talked about what she thinks about friends and friendship, her adventures in finding a man, and some of her hobbies. Enjoy...
What makes someone earn your friendship?
Honestly, you know friendship is two ways but I always say for you to be able to be my friend and I your friend, I must be able to make excuses for you. It means I will not judge you ever. No matter what you do, I will see why you did it from your stand point. Even if it’s wrong, I will understand why you did it because you had told me. I will trust you for it. For instance, I might not see you all the time but we are very close. Some people will take offence; our friendship will cease to be. I have friends I don’t see, the day we see, we continue where we stopped.
They do not judge. They do not feel bad. As my friend, if you feel I’ve done wrong, do not judge, call me to ask me and I will explain why I did it. That’s what I owe you and that’s what you owe me. Friendship is not about getting up and shouting, ha na my paddy then tomorrow I go away. I don’t like to have surface friendships. I like to have friends and if they are my friends I will keep the circle small. That’s fine! But I can have acquaintances. I have people I talk to. I can laugh with anybody. At the same time I don’t have to laugh because not every day is okay for laughter.
As regards marriage, do you have reservations about certain tribes?
No, I don’t. I just think a good man is a good man.
There was a time you said it’s difficult to get a good man; do you still have that notion?
Is it not hard? I’ve checked it; all the good ones are taken. All the ones that have light shining on them are not the ones I’m looking for. I’m just waiting for the one that God will pop up and I will just say, hey! I’m right here. I think a relationship starts with having a friend. It starts with friendship, you get to know someone eventually something can happen or will not happen. You cannot force anything. You cannot say because society says it, then I must be married. What dirty respect? What if the man doesn’t even respect me? I want the society to respect me. Which one is more important at this point in time?
We know a lot of them are taken, but is that to say you haven’t seen any good one?
So I should go and collect somebody’s boyfriend now?
Exactly what are you looking for in a man?
You know when I find that thing I will tell you. I’ve said all sorts in different interviews but I think over the years I just streamlined it, I want a man who I can feel safe with. It’s not about money. But a man that you know has your back. That’s enough.
What about the biological clock…?
My biological clock is not ticking anymore. I stopped it from ticking and when I want it I will tell it to start (laughs). I’m in control of this thing men.
On those days when you are stressed out, what calms you?
Cooking calms me a lot. When I can’t sleep at night, I cook. I read a lot. I think that no knowledge is ever lost and reading brings a wealth of knowledge. If you constantly go there you can never lack. One thing I pray for is that our generation, the one after me actually, I’m hoping, will tell our kids to read.
My parents did that. They helped me to do that. I remember someone saying that I speak well. Them no dash me. I read a lot. I see a word I don’t know, I mark it down. I say to myself what does it mean. What’s its origin? Is it Greek? Is it French? Those are the questions I ask myself. So when you know these things when you are pronouncing it, it’s as if your father is a professor. Sometimes, I hang out with my friends. It’s therapeutic when I talk to my friends and let go of my fears. I also like to be alone a lot of the time, which is funny. I can just lie on the bed and just stay there.
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