Ryan Stephens and wife discovering six happy union rules to a successful marriage did you agree?

Ryan Stephens took to Twitter to share his tips on how to make a union work.

 

For starters, he says he and his wife see each other as teammates rather than soulmates and these six rules help them to be good teammates towards each other.

 

 

Four Side Effects Of Sleeping With Lights On ; Health

Do you fall asleep with the lights on? Are you known for falling asleep watching TV? Or maybe you just so happen to live by a street lamp that shines through your window. It is possible that you are harming yourself more than you think.

Health Problems From Sleeping With Lights On


More health risks are becoming known to researchers about the negative effects of sleeping with the lights on. You may think you are fine leaving an LED bulb on or that the nearby street lights won’t impact you, but the truth is that you couldn’t be more wrong. Sleep is precious and so is your health. If you want to maintain good care of your health while getting a good quality of sleep, then it can be wise to understand how light can potentially negatively affect you while you sleep!

1) Greater Risks for Cancer


It may be hard to believe, but sleeping with the lights on can increase your chances of getting cancer. According to MIT News, research has indicated that an internal clock is dictated by light and helps to manage the understanding of time by directing cellular function like metabolism.

A study from MIT found that two genes in charge of these directions for the understanding of time have the ability to suppress tumors.

Getting rid of the gene as well as a confusion with the routine of light and darkness can be causes of depleted tumor suppressors and make potential tumors worse. With this understanding, the people that would be most impacted with a greater risk for cancer would be employees who work the night shift, such as plice, medical staff, etc.

There has also been sepereate research listed about the higher risk rate of getting breast cancer for women who reside by street lights or street lamps. This is thought by researchers to due to a change in levels of melatonin – a asleep=regulating hormone that is believed to ward off cancerous cells. Melatonin is produced more at night and less when eyes meet the light. Women who are exposed to light during the night may have a decreased amount of melatonin, which in turn weakens the body’s ability to ward off cancer cells.

2) Hormonal Changes


If you fall asleep with the television set on, then it’s time to know what you have been doing to your body. Though the light may be different, the blue light being transmitted through the television – and even computer or cell phone – can prove to be just as, if not more, harmful. This type of light emits blue light which creates changes in the hormones of your body, such as a decrease in melatonin when you are exposed to the light.

The human body is designed to grow tired when it’s dark and awaken when it is light out, but the artificial lighting can throw off this understanding which ultimately means there is a mess up in our hormones.

3) Heart Problems


As if an increased risk of cancer and hormonal changes wasn’t enough of a reason to be cautious of the lights surrounding you particularly at night, then the possibility of an increased risk of developing heart problems should help. According to Harvard Health Publications, a study has connected poor rest to heart complications and since light has an effect on the quality of sleep, it can keep people awake due to its ability to crush melatonin.

4) Greater Chances of Depression


Who would have thought that leaving a light on or being near bright lights when you are sleeping could increase your risk of struggling with depression? Light keeps people awake which can lead to a poor quality of sleep, and it was discovered that light impacts the brain’s regulation for mood.

A study conducted by a biologist from John Hopkins was published in the journal Nature, which concluded that light affects the neurological structure of the brain involved with emotion. Too much light at the inappropriate time – such as bedtime – can have the unwanted effects of depression.

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Five Major Characteristics Men Want in there Wife to be,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Everyday, I aim to be a better person, friend, and importantly too, partner and lover to Atala, and I can say honestly that this article by Steven Zangrillo is on point for me on all scores. I want to also add that it cuts both ways, women also hope and look for these same qualities in the man they intend to spend the rest of their life with. Read and let's discuss...

Listen, it’s not easy for men. We understand that it’s a two-way street, this dating thing. Tried and true, we young professionals hit the bars, clubs, gyms, restaurants and other various hot spots perceived to be breeding ground for potential girlfriends and spouses. Some of us have even taken the plunge into the e-dating world. We come up empty handed more often than you would think.

Maybe that isn’t surprising to you, but it’s routine to us. All too often, the cute girl on the stairmaster ends up being nothing more than just that – a cute girl. You see, we have a natural tendency to judge (harshly), and often build up our own barriers against accepting a woman into our lives past the first few dates. That said, we do have a few important criteria. Below are five things men look for in a wife:


1. Focus
That is, stop looking at your phone when I talk to you. This thing we look for can be displayed with variance in several different ways. When we’re describing anything to you, be it an event of the day, idea we have, or anything else, it’s because we care about your opinion on the matter. Your focused feedback on all things is important to us. We’re looking for a life partner, someone to be our go-to when we need it most. Stay focused.

2. Truthfulness
We expect honesty in dialogue. Even the smallest details matter. Nip things that bother you by telling the truth about how you feel. The more you sweep things under the rug, the bigger mess you will find yourself cleaning up later. No conversation is worth saving over a white lie.

3. Steadiness
If we’re surveying you as a potential wife, it means we’re taking you seriously. We’re all about you, we love you, and we’re going to spend a lot of time, money and energy making you the happiest person to have ever walked this earth. We are preparing to give ourselves to you. Just as we have to present ourselves as stable, able life mates, you must do the same. If you’ve still yet to sow some of your wild oats, then this relationship isn’t for you. Be here, now, and present. Have your job, family and money in order.

4. Positivity
You will be sharing a bed, bathroom, kitchen, home, family and life together. It would seem that the best way to approach that would be with positivity. Although it’s still important to tell the truth about things that bother you, it’s also important to be… you know… enjoyable. Think of all of your negative friends and family. When you’re planning a night out, you probably hesitate to call them. If you can’t call those people, why would you marry one?

5. Love (NOTHING else)
It always comes back to love, doesn’t it? We look for women to share love with us. Love is the stuff of marriage. If you’re in need of financial help, the government has programs for that. It’s important to be at similar stations in life so you have a reciprocal and positive marriage experience. We want to marry because we’re in love, not because it’s a sound financial decision.

10 Mistakes Men Make in Relationships

We all know that relationships can be tough. They begin with an awkward dating period where both persons are on their best behavior. After a few months, those curtains start to unravel and you begin to see shadows of the real person.

Men often make a number of relationship blunders during these crucial initial phases, and we're here to help you recognize the ten worst ones. If you're just getting started in a relationship, or part of a long-term affair, get pen and paper. (Or, you could just print it!). You'll want to keep track of these tips.

Giving a woman too much power.
Guys usually get into trouble when they allow a woman to have too much (if not all) of the control in a relationship. She decides when you go out; she decides when you have sex; she decides which friends you can keep; and may even decide what color slacks you should wear to a party.



These types of scenarios are classic examples of a man believing that he doesn't deserve to be with a certain type of woman, or that he is in no position to make decisions on his own. If you're a good man and deserve a good woman -- you deserve a good relationship. Swinging the power surge closer to a 50-50 deal would be more beneficial for you. An even platform feels a whole lot better than a 80-20 deal -- and you can't afford to be on the 20 end of the spectrum.

Trying to invoke too much of your own control.
Even though it is not recommended that you relinquish complete control of your relationship to the lady in your life, you also should not hoard it all for yourself. Power struggles can create a competitive environment, and there is no place for competition in a relationship. Truth be told, most people like some level of control in their lives and this includes relationships with significant others.

You should definitely try to work within respectable levels when it comes to control. Whether it's your heavy-handed decision-making or a demanding attitude -- women don't like controlling men and a controlling guy reeks of insecurity.

Believing that the good you do today will last until tomorrow.
Women have short memories. Flowers and candy mean that you love her today -- but tomorrow is a new day and a new chance for you to prove your love all over again. A man tends to linger on his good motives and can't understand it when his sweetie throws a hissy-fit while wearing the new dress he bought just three days ago.

Being a good boy scout doesn't mean you are no longer obligated to do your chores. Keep doing the things you know are necessary for relationship success. Women appreciate good deeds, but they appreciate continuous good deeds even more.

Being domineering or overly possessive.
If your mate tells you that she likes possessive, egotistical, iron-fisted dictators - then you're in for the perfect relationship -- (If your name is Joseph Stalin). However, most women can't handle the jealous types and no woman wants to be told what to do.

Biblical principles tell us that a man should lead. However, this duty assignment calls for an enormous amount of responsibility and maturity. A man should never believe that his mate is beneath him spiritually, or emotionally - and relationship bonds should not turn women into possessions.

Allowing family members or friends to dictate what happens in the relationship.
This is an absolute NO-NO. If you are married and allow your in-laws to have any measure of control over your relationship, you are undoubtedly treading on paper-thin ice.

Your wife should not be subjected to this either. Even if she allows you to take a bossy tone with her, she most certainly doesn't appreciate it coming from your mama; your aunts; your cousins; or anyone else in your family. Women don't like being told what to do (see Mistake #4), and it irks them even more when it's coming from another woman.

You should not allow your wife's family to make decisions that directly affect your relationship. Everybody has an opinion, but it's the couple's opinions that matter most. Outside opinions or ideas shouldn't be used to influence your relationship bond.

Always kissing up.
She's your beautiful queen. A sugar-dumplin', honey-spiced, chocolate bunny pie. But she's also a human being. Which means if she commands respect, she also has the ability to return it.

Some people deserve respect simply because they exist:

a) Your mother - because she's a woman and ushered your nappy-head into the world.
b) Women in general - because they're women and the Good Bible tells us that we're supposed to be respectful of the female entity.

Outside of this basic level of respect, all other respect is earned. Don't be so apologetic (unless you've really screwed up); don't assume that she's always right; and don't take the blame for something that isn't your fault.

More importantly, don't place your lady on such a high pedestal that she forgets where the ground is. A truly level-headed sista wouldn't want to be that high, and may eventually resent being in a relationship with a big pushover.

Complacency.
If you are not exactly where you want to be in your life (financially, academically, or spiritually) -- it's okay. Women tend to focus more on the future, so you shouldn't worry about having the world in your palm when you first meet.

Over time, most women will expect to see some progress and eventually some results. Try not to sit idle as life passes you by. Even if you're not the biggest fish in the pond, being tenacious and goal-oriented is all any woman could ask for. If she's asking for more, you might want to reconsider who you're with.

Choosing a woman based on appearance alone.
This is really dangerous, but all men know that it is difficult to look past the sexiness.

Physical attraction is extremely important, and men sometimes forget to investigate the other critical attributes they desire in a woman. Since we are from the 'Planet of Imagery', male judgment is often clouded in the beginning of a relationship. A man's interest in physical compatibility may keep him from thinking about those other crucial attributes until it's too late.

Don't forget about essential qualities like compassion, compatibility, and whether or not she makes any sense when she speaks.

Placing someone (anyone) or something before your mate.
This includes friends, relatives (See Mistake #5), co-workers, animals, your car, or your hobbies.

Granted, there will be times when you would like to hang with the boys, or occasions when you have extra work to do on some new project. But those things should never hold more meaning than your relationship. When a woman feels that someone or something is more important than she is, you may have problems getting her to respond to anything you have to say.

Yielding to temptation from other women.
For some odd reason, women are frequently more attracted to men who are attached or already married. This isn't a good thing if you're in a strong relationship and have a weakness for lust. Your wife or girlfriend isn't stupid -- she knows that you can't help but look at other women from time to time. But that's as far as it goes.

If the tempter is cognizant of the situation and isn't a woman of good moral character -- (and she likely isn't since she's obviously seeking to tempt), she may not care about disrupting your relationship -- especially if she knows you're interested in stepping out of line.

Be vigilant when this happens. It takes a lot of patience and integrity to go against the grain. Being tempted is natural -- yielding to it is stupid.

Catholic Church of Nigeria withdraws from the Christian Association of Nigeria

Right: official Catholic church letter withdrawing from CAN

The Catholic Church of Nigeria yesterday temporarily withdrew its membership from the Christian  Association of Nigeria (CAN). Their reason? That CAN under Pastor Ayo Oritsejafor has been compromised. Also because of some uncouth statements by some Christian leaders, and the use ofmoney in CAN elections and several court cases involving state chapters of CAN.

Spokesperson of the Church, Rev. Fr. Dr. Cornelius Omonokhua, said:

"You just can't save people who are drowning, if you are drowning with them. CAN is being dragged into partisan politics thereby compromising the ability to play its true role as conscience of the nation and the voice of the voiceless. We will be happy if CAN leadership can show moderation. Common sense dictates that they do that.”

The Catholic church said they would review their withdrawal from CAN after the annual meeting of the Conference of Bishops in February. See more after the cut...



Meanwhile CAN has reacted to CCN's withdrawal, calling it good riddance. A rep accused the Christian denomination of arrogance, saying they were merely angry because the presidency of the association had moved to another bloc of the group.

Spokesperson for the 19 Northern chapters of CAN, Sunny Oibe, told Punch:

“There are some certain elements in the leadership of CAN led by Cardinal John Onaiyekan because he lost CAN Presidency to Oritsejafor who has a lot of achievements. There is no need for anybody to lose sleep over the threat by Catholics to pull out of CAN because without them CAN will still continue. The constitution of CAN makes provision that membership can be terminated by any group that is misbehaving or any group can also terminate their membership.

“Why is it that when Catholics were in the leadership of CAN, every bloc supported them, but now because power has changed hands, they are threatening to pull out and causing confusion?

"They have been agitating that the Presidency of CAN must come from the South. They are appendage of PDP and PDP themselves. They are known for double standards. A man of God should not be double speaking.”

10 Simple Things Girls Want

When it comes to women, the little things count.

Here are ten seemingly simple things that women crave….

1. Someone who shows an interest in her life, who she is, and how she became that person
Ask questions! Show an interest! Don’t you really want to know who you are with?  And if you are really interested in that person, you would want to know all of this information.

2.   Acknowledgement of special occasions
True: some girls will say they don’t want anything for Valentine’s Day, and secretly do. Basically, she is looking for a thoughtful gesture. Because even though she’s not asking for anything, she’s still looking for proof that you care.

3.   Appreciation on ordinary daysDid she make you a cake? Dinner? Do your laundry? Make you smile?  Watch your favorite TV show with you?  Tell her—a simple and sincere “thank you” will suffice.

4.   Someone who likes her imperfections and embraces his ownNo one is perfect. Accept it.  Don’t get too picky, because someone could point out your imperfections just as easily.

5.   Someone who is excited to see her and proud to be with herIntroduce her to your friends (when you are ready, of course!) and always let her know that you are happy to see her.

6.   Someone who is already on their own pathI get it! Sometimes, especially in this economy, we have to compromise regarding our living situations.  But honestly, if you aren’t on a road to independent living, grown-up style, that is a problem.

7.   Someone who wants a commitment and marriageIf you have commitment issues or are just looking for simple, unattached companionship, make it known early and often.

8.   Someone who compliments her and accepts her complimentsBe confident enough in yourself to welcome compliments, and confident enough to give them.

9.   Someone who gives as much to her as she gives to them

It is exhausting doing all of the work. Just sayin’.

10.  Someone who likes simple things

Ordinary things are just plain awesome sometimes. Spending 20 minutes to walk with your lady says more than you realize. I think guys sometimes overthink what we really want.

Now, if you have the qualities on this list, have pride in yourself. I am not going to lie. Yes, there are superficial things that MAY or MAY NOT be added bonuses, but let’s get real here, people, you can’t be satisfied EVERY time.

Expect and give these basics and you’ll have a more fulfilling relationship. If you find a girl that’s after much more than this, or find that your list is too complicated and detailed, you’re not going to find that long-lasting relationship you’re after.

In MARRIAGE, Attention to Detail is essential

Many marriages have continued to hit the rocks from circumstances that are avoidable. Bishop Ada Gordon Osagiede Jnr provides some tips on how to ensure an enduring marriage. Ndubuisi Francis writes

Known for his very penetrating teaching on leadership and youth empowerment, for Bishop Osagiede Jnr, the common aphorism that good homes beget a good nation holds true. He has devoted time in trying to nurture successful marriages. Recently, he organised a programme for couples. Christened “Excellent Couples”, the cleric says it was actually a programme “that God put in my heart to reach young couples who are ten years old in marriage and below.

“The vision is to teach, admonish, and encourage young couples to pay attention to the details of their marriages and relationships. So I believe that it is a great programme that God is using to establish the family units because there are young people, especially in our generation who are experiencing difficulties in their marriages. So God wants to do more in the lives of young marriages. The focus is to pay attention to the details of your marriage,” the presiding minister of the Spirit and Life Bible Church (SLBC) and facilitator, Godhead Prayer Ministry International, said.

Besides ministering to the needs of couples, he has delved into making the youths more focused and purposeful in the midst of daunting challenges. “We are beginning to see that many youths want to get involved in the system; youths are very passionate about their country. You see many youths, over time, because of what they have been through the educational system, the workforce in the country; have been very discouraged by the nation. So many of our youths don’t like what is going on in the nation, but God has been able to use the vision of the youths of excellence to adjust the mindset that Nigeria is the only nation we have.

“There is nothing wrong in you wanting to go abroad to school, but at the end of the day, realise that whatever nation you live, you are a second-class citizen of that nation. That’s one thing my father always told me that if you are not in your country, you are a second-class citizen. You cannot be fully accepted as a first class citizen, or a son of the soil there but in your own nation, no matter how bad it is, it is the nation of your birth.” With this in mind, the cleric, who lives abroad, has continued to instill that principle on the young people and with verifiable impact.

“We have young people who are passionate about the country, standing against corruption, indecency, and want to move this nation forward with every influence that they have so we are very grateful to God and we would continue to do the work. God wants to raise a generation of young people of excellence who practice righteousness, free from the mindset of corruption, deceit, greed, militancy and other evils,” he said.

Assessing the country’s state of affairs

He believes that Nigeria is entering a new dawn of her existence. “I believe what is going to happen in Nigeria is something that has never happened before. Nigerians are beginning to see for themselves that we can have a say on what is going on in the nation; we can have our own opinions on how we want our nation to go. I believe strongly that the young democracy that we are running is just the beginning of what is to come and that is why I believe that the situation and the state of our country right now is a growing stage of democracy, awareness, enlightenment and so I am very encouraged by what God is doing.”

According to him, before now, Nigerians had been very passive in the way they did things, with an average Nigerian just letting things go. “But I see gradually that we are beginning to rise up and do things that we have not done before. I just believe this is the beginning of things to come. We are in the age of information with television, the Internet and satellite so people are more enlightened, more aware of things going on and that is putting a lot of pressure on our leaders to begin to act on something that normally they won’t have acted or done and they are beginning to do things like that now. I believe it is here to stay and I trust God for that.”

Role of churches

I believe the first response the local church must is to pray, that is the first response God has instructed us as believers to pray for our leaders because the bible tells us the prayer of the righteous avails much. So I believe that Christians are to first pray, one thing that happens much in the local church is that many believers conduct prayers based on their affiliations.

You can have a church which is supposed to be praying for the well being of the leaders, for God to give the leaders wisdom but certain believers are praying for the downfall of their leaders, praying for things not to work out, praying for their own person and that is not what the scripture teaches. The scripture teaches that we should pray for the leaders of the nation.

Now except a leader is blatantly going against the law, committing atrocities against his people, killing his people then that is injustice and we cannot pray for his well being; we pray that God would remove him from power but there has to be unity in the local church that when we pray it should be together. Then after praying it is now time to take actions. Who are those believers that God has been stirring their hearts to go into politics and be in the helms of affairs, until those people begin to rise up then we cannot be in the system, righteousness would be in the system because righteous people are in the system.

“So the only way righteousness exalts a nation is that righteous people who have been made righteous by God through Jesus Christ are in the system. So I always encourage believers to be part of the system, I mean agent of change in the system,” the clergy insisted.

Leaders and People’s trust

The cleric wants Nigerian leaders to have the trust of the people because of the possibility that in spite of the endemic corruption in the land, there are still some leaders who mean well for Nigeria. “They want to do well and put up programmes but the system has been so corrupt—the system has been so against the progress of the people that even though a person is there to do well, their good is over-shadowed by all the bad. So leaders have to earn the people’s trust because until the people can trust you, then the people cannot rely on the things you do. They cannot give you credit for the things you do. So, I encourage our leaders to be transparent to the Nigerian people. We are supposed to be in democracy and we voted you in so you are answerable to the people. That is how it is supposed to work.”

Acquisition of private jets by pastor

What does this man of God think about the growing appetite by men of God to acquire private jets? His simple response lies in the book of 3 John 1: 2—“Beloved I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in good health even as thy soul prospereth”. According to him, God is not against prosperity, but “He is against our wrong attitude of prosperity.” He also abhors hasty judgment of servants of God. “Some of these men of God that are enjoying the grace of God upon their lives today have been through challenges of life without anybody knowing.

Nigeria’s future

“ I believe that the future of Nigeria is great. I say that with all sincerity in my heart because when I look at all the things that Nigeria has been through over the years, I always say that what Nigeria has been through in the last 10 years is enough for us to be in war today-the religious violence, political situation, the death of the last President and the assumptions of office by the incumbent President, all those things are enough to create tension and boiling point to spark a religious war,” he stressed.