Tuesday, 30 October 2012

Top Ten Most Evil Dictators of All Time (in order of kill count); Gowon, Leopold, Hitler…


Africa » World News

Yakubu-Gowon

October 11th, 2012
NewsRescue- In this list prepared by Juan Carlos, the unusuals include, Nigeria’s dictator from the Middle Belt, the young Christian general Yakubu Gowon who, together with his army general, ex president, Olusegun Obasanjo, led the infamous Biafra assault. Also on the list is Belgian king, Leopold, who according to popular counts, exterminated no less than 25 Million Africans especially in the Congo valley. His numbers are more than listed below. Leopold’s statue is still revered in Belgium and many colleges are named after the man behind Africa’s most grave holocaust. Not included in the list however is George W. Bush, the president of America who caused the death of over 2 million in the Iraq false WMD war.
This is Juan Carlos’ list:

Top Ten Most Evil Dictators of All Time (in order of kill count)

Some people make horrible decisions, others are just bad presidents, a few are bloodthirsty, many are extremists, a couple are warmongers, and all of these guys are a mix. Ten of our political leaders in the last 130 years have been the architects of the most horrific genocides, systematic murders, blockades, brutal wars, and policy reforms history has ever recorded.
Where to begin? Maybe an icebreaker for you next dinner party? Did you know the word “genocide” was coined in 1943 to describe when the Armenians were slaughtered haphazardly by Turkish leader Ismail Enver? Until then there was no specific word for it in our language. It makes me think about how much more cognizant we’ve become in this last century to these events. So, a quick toast between you and I to a more peaceable future where less of what follows below is allowed to happen. Sit back, but don’t relax.

10. Yakubu Gowon (1.1 million deaths)

Breakdown: 1 million civilians on the wrong side of a blockade caused by a war of secession in Nigeria and 100,000 soldiers who died in that war.
It starts as many sad stories do with precious beautiful oil. It had been found in the Niger delta where tensions were already high between the Eastern region (led by Ojukwu) and the rest of the country (governed by Yakubu). A dummy agreement was signed between them called the “Aburi Accord”, but it meant nothing to either leader. Yakubu started to put pressure on the region, and tested how much sway he had in the area versus Ojukwu. Well Ojukwu being no slouch declared secession from the rest of Nigeria and became the “Republic of Biafra”. This began a war that caused the deaths of 100,000 soldiers, and much worse, a blockade on the region which starved 1 million civilians.

9. Mengistu Haile Mariam (400,000 – 1.5 million deaths)

Breakdown: As president of Ethiopia and colonel of  “the Derg” (communist militia) Mengitsu systematically killed those against him in the “Red Terror” campaign.
Mengistu Haile Mariam is (as in still alive) a politician who presided over Ethiopia from 1974 to 1991. The way he got into power was by smothering the previous president Haile Selassie although he has denied those rumors. His biggest claim to fame is the Ethiopian Red Terror which was a campaign of repression led by the Derg (communist militia in Ethiopia).
In his introductory speech Mengitsu yelled, “Death to counterrevolutionaries! Death to the EPRP!” Then he took three bottles filled with blood and threw them to the ground.
It was an auspicious beginning to say the least. Thousands were killed and found dead on the streets in the years that followed. Much of the murdering can be attributed to the friendly neighborhood watch there known as “Kebeles”. As if killing innocents wasn’t enough they would then charge the family a tax to return the dead body to them. The tax was aptly named “the wasted bullet”! Are you serious Mengitsu? However there was an even more gruesome fate of being left on the street where wild hyenas would fight over the dead. The campaign has been described as one of the worst mass murders ever in Africa. Mengitsu is even known to have garroted people to death.

8. Kim Il Sung (1.6 million deaths)

Breakdown: Unpopular among his people Kim used the U.S. as a scapegoat and forced the country to believe in his delusion or else.
Before our very own Kim Jong-Il was his murderous father Kim Il Sung who led North Korea in a terrible direction. He fought for a command economy that allowed the government to make all decisions for the country. For various reasons the people never seemed to love the man, and so his hold on power was tenuous at best. Like most crazies he blamed somebody else, in this case the USA, and said they had spread disease throughout its population. He also pulled a Stalin, and had large-scale purges. His underlying reason was that it would scare people into believing he was telling the truth.  Kim’s purge was a little different than Stalin’s though in that there were no trials.  During his tenure prison camps sprung up all over the country to contain the ever growing masses of people against Kim Il Sung.

7. Pol Pot (1.7 million deaths)

Breakdown: Forced city folk to relocate to farms and forced them into hard labor.
Pol Pot was the leader of the communist movement in Cambodia. He attempted to “cleanse” the country and it resulted in the death of an estimated 1.7 to 2.5 million people. There was an interesting policy going around called agrarian collectivization which he put into practice in the late 1970′s. Basically it forced city folk to head out to the farms to do some labor and vice versa for farmers. As you might guess, and hindsight is 20/20, neither group was very good at their new jobs. Pol didn’t stop at enslaving his own people though. He also didn’t feed them well, gave them little medical care, and executed many of them. The net result was killing off approximately 1/5 of the Cambodian population!

6. Ismail Enver Pasha (2.5 million deaths)

Breakdown: 1,200,000 Armenians (1915) + 350,000 Greek Pontians and 480,000 Anatolian Greeks (1916-22) + 500,000 Assyrians (1915-20)
He began his career as a Turkish military officer and leader in the Young Turk revolution. Eventually he rose to power and led the Ottoman Empire in both Balkan Wars and World War I. As a war minister Enver was not very useful, and was defeated over and over. His crushing loss at the Battle of Sarikamish needed a scapegoat, and that’s when he decided to blame Armenians for the failure. That is what began what is now known as the Armenian Genocide. The word “genocide” was coined to describe this event.
Etymology from Wikipedia:
Coined in 1943 by Raphael Lemkin (1900–1959), a Polish-Jewish legal scholar, to describe what the Turkish government (ca 1915–18) perpetrated against the Armenian people, now called the Armenian Genocide. From the stem of Ancient Greek (génos), “race, kind” or Latin “tribe, clan” (-cide).

5. Hideki Tojo (5 million deaths)

Breakdown: Waged unprovoked wars against China, USA, Netherlands, and France.
Hideki Tojo was a general in the Imperial Japanese Army. He assumed the position of Prime Minister and held Army Minister concurrently. As if that wasn’t enough he also held other major positions like Home Minister, Foreign Minister, Education Minister, and Commerce Minister. His major contributions to education were teaching militaristic and nationalist indoctrination. His version of homeland security was approving eugenics measures which essentially made a distinction between pure blood and mixed blood Japanese families.
During World War II Tojo started winning battles and the public loved him for it. He really bought into the Nazi Kool-aid, and held steadfastly with Germany. When the tide turned, and he began losing, it was devastating. Eventually he went into seclusion. He was tried for war crimes and found guilty of waging wars of aggression, wars in violation of international law, and waging unprovoked war against many countries. Not to mention ordering, authorizing, and permitting inhumane treatment of Prisoners of War.
Imposing statue of King Leopold II on his horse is proudly found at Place du Trône which is surrounding the Royal Palace in Brussels, Belgium. How about a Hitler statue of same sort in Germany?
NewsRescue- Imposing statue of King Leopold II on his horse, proudly found at Place du Trône surrounding the Royal Palace in Brussels, Belgium. How about a Hitler statue of same sort in Germany?

4. Leopold II of Belgium (2-15 million deaths)

Breakdown: Created a colony called the “Congo Free State”, enslaved its people, and forced them into labor plants.
Leopold II was the King of the Belgians, and believed in colonialism. He thought acquiring colonies overseas was essential to a great country and was always scheming. The problem was Belgium really didn’t care, and so Leopold went into business for himself. He started a company that seemed like it was doing good called the International African Society. A year later he used that company to travel to Congo, laid claim to a plot of land 14 times the size of Belgium, and made 14 countries agree (USA included) that he was free to rule it with his own private militia. He then forced the indigenous populations into forced labor, created a bustling rubber industry, and abused his workers grievously.
Missionary John Harris on returning from Congo said:
“I have just returned from a journey inland to the village of Insongo Mboyo. The abject misery and utter abandon is positively indescribable.”
Estimates of the death toll range from two to fifteen million which could all have been avoided if 14 countries didn’t hand him the keys to the car!

3. Adolf Hitler (17 million deaths)

Breakdown: Concentration camps and civilians in WWII.
Adolf Hitler was the leader of the Nazi Party. He was the absolute dictator of Germany from 1934 to 1945. He gained support by promoting values like German nationalism and anti-semitism. Hitler was appointed chancellor in 1933 and began the Third Reich. Hitler was power hungry as all hell, hated the shit out of Jews (and others), and wanted  hegemony in Europe. The militarization that was needed to complete such a lofty goal led to the outbreak of World War II. Nazi forces engaged in the systematic murder of as many as 17 million civilians,an estimated six million of whom were Jews, and 1.5 million Romanis.

2. Jozef Stalin (23 million deaths)

Breakdown: The great purges and Ukraine’s famine.
Jozef Stalin was the first Secretary of the Communist Party from 1922 – 1953. After Lenin’s death in 1924, he became the leader of the Soviet Union. Stalin didn’t take long in launching a new economy that screwed up food production across the country so bad it caused massive famine. Between 1922-23 it reached such catastrophic proportionseverything went to shit. In Ukraine this dark period is known as Holodomor. Its widely believed that Soviet policies caused the famine there and was designed as an attack on Ukrainian nationalism. Estimates on the total number of casualties within Soviet Ukraine range from 2.6 million to 10 million! During the late 1930s Stalin launched another wonderfully titled initiative called the Great Purge (also known as the “Great Terror”). It was a paranoid campaign to kill off the people who opposed him, and his targets were often executed.
In 1939 Stalin agreed to a non-aggression pact with the Nazis. Eventually Germany violated the pact, the Soviet Union joined the allies, and they racked up 23.9 million deaths (the largest death toll in the war).

1. Mao Zedong (49-78 million deaths)

Breakdown: Policy reforms like the Great Leap Forward and the Cultural Revolution.
Mao Zedong was a Chinese revolutionary, political theorist, and communist leader who led the People’s Republic of China. Mao, while controversial, is still widely considered a savior of the nation. I did a semester abroad in China in 2001 after falling in love with its history, and was surprised in my conversations that many people thought Mao had done 70% – 80% good things. During  his first five years from 1949 – 53 he is said to have systematically killed between 4 to 6 million people by sentencing them to die or by sending them to “reform through labor” camps. He organized mass repressions, established execution quotas, and defended his actions in these early years as necessary for securing power for “The People’s Republic of China”.
His social programs the Great Leap Forward and the Cultural Revolution are two of the most ill-fated, poorly named, initiatives ever. The first was an effort to rapidly industrialize China. His focus was on making China a premier exporter of steel, and to this end he asked everybody to make  it. The problem was it got many citizens to make smelting shops in their backyards. Not only was the steel of little value, but it was made from everything lying around the house including their own cooking supplies! Without the tools to make food, no money coming in from the steel, and no money to survive ~ a lot of people starved to death. The estimates on this program alone are 20 million deaths! Think about that number. Really think about it. Then ask yourself… why would you EVER let someone back into power after such an insanely bad decision.Well, they took the reigns away from him for a short time.
In the interim Mao started the socialist education movement. He aimed the concept at young ones who would eventually wrest the power away from the older guard. By 1964 this movement was renamed the “four cleanups movement” whose goal was cleansing politics, economics, ideas, and organization of “reactionaries”. This led to the formation of the “Red Guards” who were organized to punish intellectuals and take out Mao’s political adversaries. The Cultural Revolution was now underway, and its overriding mission was to abolish: Old Customs, Old Culture, Old Habits, and Old Ideas. Something Mao fervently believed in was that destruction and chaos could bring re-birth. So he told his followers to destroy buildings, sacred objects, talk back to ones elders, punish them, turn them in, and kill those who did not agree. By 1968 things were starting to look pretty good for Mao all over again, and so he put into place the decade long “Down to the Countryside Movement” which forced young intellectuals to move out to the country to become farmers. Sadly, the people he pushed out there were the same Red Guards who had helped him get power. Estimates of the death toll are between 40,000 – 7 million depending on who you ask.
Finally, there is the 100 flowers movement which just needs an abbreviated mention here. Mao asked people to come forth and tell him how he should govern China.  Intellectuals and liberals bit at the chance to tell him what they really thought, and were encouraged by the Communist party to do so. Then in a sudden change of heart, or an incredibly crafty mission to out his haters, the government persecuted 500,000 of them who were considered to be “dangerous thinkers”.
Mao is essentially like that girlfriend/boyfriend who keeps on taking a shit on you, but is so damn charming you hardly notice. His policies and political purges from 1949 to 1976 caused the deaths of 49 to 78 million people.

The moral of the story is ~

Let’s stop allowing evil political dictators to take office. And if we do have someone bad in office we can find better ways to get them out than murdering them, wars, and aggressive confrontations. Link: http://popten.net/2010/05/top-ten-most-evil-dictators-of-all-time-in-order-of-kill-count/



Marrying A Woman That Completes You Is A Perfect Gift Of God- Teju 'Babyface'


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Teju Babyface opens up on life as a married man and what he must do to be a good politician if the opportunity comes calling.

Excerpts
It has been a while since you held your regular comedy show, what's going on?
Well, if one should really look at it, I don’t believe mine has been the 'usual' comedy show. I say this because I have only done three stand-up comedy specials in my life.
Is it because there is no money in it?
No, it didn’t have anything to with money. It was more than that for me. Also back then, there was always a reason for me to do it without thinking of the immediate financial gain. As it stands now, I do not feel the compulsion to do another. Rather, all my energies are now directed towards TV where my spirit has led me.
Have you dumped live shows for television? 
That word is so unappealing, please don’t use the word ‘dumped’ because I did not quit comedy. Let’s just say that television is very demanding and it has taken most of my time from a lot of things. Any producer can tell you that much.
Your chubby cheeks have disappeared. stress or age?
Really? That’s interesting. You tell me. In Nigeria where an average comedian is his own marketer, image maker, book manager, etc, where is the time for one to rest? On the real, I am not getting younger. I should naturally age.
Now that you are married, don't you think it’s time to dump the name Babyface and be addressed as Mr ...
I am now called Teju Jacobs-Oyelakin, though the Babyface still sticks.
How's it being married?
Oh, it’s been a great experience. A lot of maturity has come in. I no longer think about myself, neither do I think only for myself. I have a wife to think of, a new future to chart with her and our future kids. These have got me acting, thinking and talking like a grown up. There is nothing on earth that’s better than marrying the woman that completes you, it’s the ultimate gift.
What has your new status taken away from you?
The Bible says 'he that findeth a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord', yes. It also says that 'the blessing of the Lord maketh rich and addeth no sorrow', yes. So, do the math. Status taken away? Nothing has been taken away bro, it has added more to me, my life. You want to know how? I now receive more favours from above and from men. I have not lost my freedom, if that is what you mean
What did she see in you?
It might have been my smoldering hotness! (laughs). Seriously, till now, I don’t know. I have not bothered to ask her because it won’t matter now. I sought her, she agreed and now we are married. She is the  only one that can tell you why she freaks for me oh.
No new faces in the comedy industry, has it reached its peak... its diminishing point?
Hehehe, that’s a rather  funny question. There are more comedians being discovered now than ever before. More will still be discovered because the comedy industry is thriving and Nigeria has many comedians who are eager to make a break in the entertainment industry. People may think there is a shortage of comedians right now because they have not heard of them. If you don’t hear much of these guys, it is  because the dynamics of the game have changed. For one, the world is smaller and bigger at the same time, and consequently, tastes of consumers are somewhat more refined. This is a bit technical to discuss, but suffice to say that a comedian who wants to come into the game today must bring something new. Nothing old will appeal to comedy fans again. We all want to hear something new.
How have you been holding out all these years
Holding out? Well, I do not hold out, I flourish by God's grace and favour.
What informed your decision to embark on a tv production?
There was a need for me to metamorphose into something else. That is what brands do, they evolve to remain competitive. In evolving to this end however, it must be about giving value and that is what we do. We give value. I didn’t just delve into tv production for the sake of beaming my teeth on the screen, I saw another opportunity in it to repackage myself, my brand, and it is paying off
How?
I am not the same Teju that I was years ago.  Now, I’m all about my business. No paddy for jungle, maybe outside the jungle.
In the past, your baby face was an appeal to ladies; does it still attract females?
Hmm, I no know book oh. My face attracted women back then? My, my, if only I had known, I would have considered acting, or being a model. That’s where you can sell your face, not in the comedy industry.
Do you ever think of relocating to Ogbomoso maybe later in life?
Well, ibi ori da'ni si, ibe l'a gbe. For now, my life is in Lagos. Everything about me is tied to this state, my business, my partners, friends, family, etc.I can’t just leave Lagos because I am Teju from Ogbomoso and just pack my luggage and head home. When the time is right, I will decide. It’s not now.
Will you consider seeking political appointment in ogbomoso,or partake in an election?
The active thought has not crossed my mind. I guess destiny will tell. I can tell you this for free though that if I ever find myself in that position, it will be because I am led by God to actively make a difference in whatever sphere my political influence will lie. I must already be the substantial captain of the industry in which I operate. You also want to know why? So that the lure of public coffers does not overwhelm me. Many who make a mess of their political lives by digging their hands in the till have not prepared themselves well financially, so it becomes almost impossible for them not to do what is not right with our money.
You will dip your hands in the till if you are called to serve, though you are poor? Is that what you are saying?
What I have said in layman's terms is that I must be a multi-billionaire before I venture into active politics, that is if I ever do. Because a lot of politicians have learned they could get away their loot, most of them just go there to fill their coffers; they hardly plan to affect lives in positive ways. For me, I must have loads of money before I will even begin to think about playing politics.  That way, it becomes more about service to the people than amassing wealth. I mean, I already sit on top of more billions than I can spend in my lifetime, so why would I need to steal people's money? Get my point?

Nollywood Actress Grace Amah Returns To Acting


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Top Nollywood actress, Grace Amah, who has been missing on screen for some time now may have finalized plans to stage a comeback to her first love-acting.

Amah took a break early last year in order to have her son abroad. Since then, she has been missing on screen.
 
The Actress was spotted at a celebrity event last week in Lagos, where she announced return to acting after months of disappearing from the screen.
 
“I stayed off the screen all these months to be able to nurture my baby. But now, I’m back again in full force. At the moment, I have featured in two movies which are yet to be released.”Amah said.

Nollywood Actress, Beverly Naya Denies Dating Uti Nwachukwu


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Rising Nollywood actress, Beverly Naya has denied reports she’s in a relationship with 2010 BBA winner and show host, Uti Nwachukwu.

Naya expressed her shock on Twitter saying the rumour is not only untrue but misleading too, ‘This Insinuation is laughable..Pls lets not start a rumor…..My boyfriend wasn’t too happy seeing this’, she tweeted.
According to her, her relationship with the 30-year-old is purely professional and with no strings attached, ‘Uti makes me laugh a lot…its always fun and games hanging out with him and nothing more. We are not dating’.
Related Article: news.naij.com/11988.html
No word yet from Nwachukwu.
Naya became popular after playing lead role in the movie ‘Home In Exile’.  She has also featured in few other movies including ‘Weekend Getaway’ along with Uti Nwachukwu, Genevieve Nnaji and Ramsey Nouah.

Steve Jobs' Secret Yacht, Looks Like a Giant iPhone (PHOTO)


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Just over a year after Steve Jobs's death, shipbuilders in Aalsmeer, Holland have finally finished the yacht that the Apple visionary spent years designing - stealthily, of course. Boy, does it look like an Apple product. Her name is Venus.
Built entirely out of aluminum, the yacht was designed by Jobs personally along with some help from French designer Phillipe Stack. It's a big one, too. The ship measures between 70 and 80 meters, but because of the aluminum construction, it's lighter than your typical yacht, giving it a bit of an edge when it comes to speed. It doesn't lack amenities, either. The front of the ship is equipped with a uniquely large sun deck with a jacuzzi built in. Behind that comes an all glass cabin that's topped with a bridge equipped with seven 27-inch iMacs that handle the ship's navigation and controls. When you take a step back, squint a little and turn your head to the left, it sort of looks like an iPhone 4 with the strip of windows around the middle and the clean lines.
Jobs's yacht project might seem a little out of character at first. After all, the billionaire was famously humble about many aspects of his lifestyle. He lived in a normal house on a normal suburban street in Palo Alto, California, not some massive mansion out in the mountains. He wore jeans, a black turtleneck sweater and New Balance tennis shoes, a basically thrifty choice for a man who could afford his own cashmere farm. He also drove a very nice car, but it wasn't rapper nice. That is, it wasn't a Bentley or an Aston Martin or a Maybach - just a Mercedes. (Ok, now we're stretching the humble thing, but you get the point.)
We now know that Steve Jobs was not a stranger to the finer aspects of being filthy rich, luxuries like chrome-coated yachts and custom-built private jets. But hey, the guy wanted to retire one day, and so what if he wanted to live like a king after building the world's most valuable technology company. Walter Isaacson wrote about the yacht in his biography of Steve Jobs, who had evidently been working on the project alone for six years:
After our omelets at the café, we went back to his house and he showed me all of the models and architectural drawings. As expected, the planned yacht was sleek and minimalist. The teak decks were perfectly flat and unblemished by any accoutrements. As at an Apple store, the cabin windows were large panes, almost floor to ceiling, and the main living area was designed to have walls of glass that were forty feet long and ten feet high. He had gotten the chief engineer of the Apple stores to design a special glass that was able to provide structural support. By then the boat was under construction by the Dutch custom yacht builders Feadship, but Jobs was still fiddling with the design. "I know that it’s possible I will die and leave Laurene with a half-built boat," he said. "But I have to keep going on it. If I don’t, it’s an admission that I’m about to die."
Sadly, Jobs did die before the yacht was finished, but the folks at Feadship finished the job. Evidently, the Jobs family recently had a little christening party with the shipbuilders, who all got an iPod Shuffle with "Venus" engraved on the back as a token of thanks. Now that we said all that stuff about Jobs and conspicuous consumption, you'd think they could have at least splurged for the iPod Touch.
Check out the chrome plates on the stern. The sleek windows that wrap around the middle of the ship is where the Jobs family quarters are. The crew gets the little portholes underneath.
You can see the row of iMacs in the bridge.
End-to-end, it's a pretty impressive vessel.

World's Largest CyberCafe: Nigeria Enters Guiness world Record


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The largest Internet café in the world is ChamsCity Digital Mall with both facilities in Lagos and Abuja, Nigeria.
Holding the record as they each offer 1,027 computer terminals, has been verified by Guinness Book of Records.
Until ChamsCity, the world’s largest digital mall in New York offered no more than 670 PCs.

10 Things That Have Negative Effects On Your Sex Drive


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If you've been suffering from "honey, not tonight" syndrome (a.k.a. low sex drive), health experts say you're not alone.

Here are 10 of the most common—and surprising—reasons why your sex drive may have taken a nosedive, and how to get your groove back.
Sex Drive Stealer #1: Messy Bedroom
What does your bedroom look like right now? Is the bed unmade? Are your dressers piled high with books, magazines and dust? Past research has linked bedroom clutter with unhappiness and mild depression, but some experts take it a step further and say that a messy bedroom could be the cause of a lackluster sex drive. We do know that women, more so than men, are prone to cognitive distractions—thinking of other things in ways that interfere with sex. A messy bedroom could increase such cognitive distractions. It could make you think 'I should really get new curtains' or 'Look at that stack of bills—I hope I already paid the electric. Mess is a reminder of all the things we haven't done yet. This can greatly interfere with a sense of calm, which can help women to relax, focus exclusively on their feelings of love and desire, and then get in the mood for sex.
How to Feel Sexy Again: Tackle the clutter, and other distracting things in your boudoir. If you and your partner watch too much TV, move it to the living room. If there's a stack of mail or bills, put them in a room that you associate with work, not sleep or sex.
Sex Drive Stealer #2: Anger
If you're unsure why your sex drive has tanked lately, consider this surprising source: repressed anger. It's one of the biggest causes of low sex drive in women. Women who have a lot of feelings of anger toward their partner—whether it's annoyance that he didn't help around the house or something more serious—don't feel like having sex. Anger quashes all desire.
How to Feel Sexy Again: Track down the source of the anger, and deal with it. Don't let anger become toxic to your relationship.
Sex Drive Stealer #3: Perfectionism
Your husband's in the mood, but you're not. After all, how could you be? There's unfolded laundry piled high on the bed, you just got back from the gym (and haven't even showered yet) and the baby is probably going to wake up for his 9PM feeding any second. Sound familiar? Perfectionism places a huge burden on sex drive. A perfectionist thinks she needs to look and smell perfect, her mate must be perfect and the environment must be perfect. Here's the problem: This state of perfection, of course, is impossible. Because of this, the perfectionist is stressed out about the flaws rather than enjoying time with her partner.
How to Feel Sexy Again: Give yourself, and your partner, a break. Make your goal to have fun and enjoy intimacy rather than have it be perfect. That's all he wants from you, after all.
Sex Drive Stealer #4: The Economy
Could it be possible that the recession has entered…your bedroom? Indeed. Call it a ro-cession (romance + recession) if you like, but the truth is, financial worries can have serious effects on libido. Worry can deplete any sex drive, and it doesn't have to be about the relationship or sex. Research shows stress and worry top the causes for low sex drive.
How to Feel Sexy Again: If you can't make your worries go away, try to get a handle on them at least. Instead of lying in bed at night thinking about how much money you lost in the stock market or whether you're going to be able to make your house payment, tell yourself you're only allowed to worry at certain times of the day. Schedule some time to worry. This may seem odd, but research shows that doing this will actually decrease your worrying. Physical intimacy is a great way to combat stress and worry. So think of sex as a form of therapy.
Sex Drive Stealer #5: Unresolved Trauma
Was your house broken into last year? Did a close relative die recently? Are you still feeling the effects of a traumatic birth—months, years later? While trauma may have happened in the past, it can continue to affect you, and your sex drive. In fact, some mental health professionals believe that decreased libido should be a necessary diagnostic criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder.
How to Feel Sexy Again: Even though it may have happened in the past, you can address your reaction to the trauma. When it makes sense, forgive the person who wronged you. But also forgive yourself.
Sex Drive Stealer #6: High Cholesterol
A recent article found a correlation between high cholesterol and women who report difficulty with arousal and orgasm. Here's why: Cholesterol can build up on the walls of the arteries of the body, including those to the pelvic area. Researchers speculate that when blood flow to the pelvic area is restricted, there can be less sensation in the genitals. That can make orgasm more difficult, which can in turn make sex frustrating."
How to Feel Sexy Again: Change your diet! Experts suggest reducing the amount of whole-milk products and animal fats you consume while upping your intake of fruits, vegetables and other fiber-rich foods, which could help block the absorption of cholesterol in the bloodstream and improve your sexual health.
Sex Drive Stealer #7: Birth Control
It's ironic that the thing that is supposed to make sex feel more freeing and comfortable could be the thing that makes your sex drive flatline, but it's true. Hormone-based birth control, she says, increases your sex hormone binding globulin, which reduces testosterone. That's medical speak for there's a good chance your birth control pills might be messing with your sex drive.
How to Feel Sexy Again: Consider a copper intrauterine device for more lasting, and hormone-free, birth control; switch back to condoms (they're not that bad); or talk to your doctor about changing your prescription, especially if you're experiencing vaginal dryness coupled with a disinterest in sex. Remember, the contraceptive that works for one woman's libido may not for another. It's different for every woman and depends on the formulation.
Sex Drive Stealer #8: Undiagnosed Thyroid Problem
It's only about the size of a golf ball, but your thyroid may be wreaking havoc on your libido. One of the symptoms of the underactive thyroid condition known as hypothyroidism—along with weight gain, hair loss, dry skin and fatigue—is a faltering sex drive.
How to Feel Sexy Again: Make an appointment to see your doctor. A simple blood test can diagnose hypothyroidism, which is easily treatable with medication.
Sex Drive Stealer #9: No Date Nights
If you don't have a date night planned with your husband and can't remember the last time you sat down and connected—even if it was just across the kitchen table—your sex drive may be suffering.
How to Feel Sexy Again: Plan a date night, of course! In fact, go ahead and e-mail this article to your husband right now, asking him to make reservations at your favorite restaurant tonight. But here's some homework for the bedroom: Move away from a performance-based sexuality, where sex is typically defined as intercourse and mandatory orgasms. Instead, take up pleasure-based sexuality, where the focus is on pleasure, fun and intimacy.
Sex Drive Stealer #10: You're Nursing
You had your adorable bundle of joy months ago and lost (most) of the pregnancy weight, so why hasn't your sex drive returned? If you're still nursing, blame your breasts. As it turns out, prolactin, the hormone that's responsible for lactation, is a real buzz kill for the libido, decreasing your body's production of estrogen and testosterone. This can lead to vaginal dryness and lack of sex drive.
How to Feel Sexy Again: First, applaud yourself for investing in the health of your baby, and remember that it's only temporary. After all, you're not going to be breastfeeding your baby forever! In the meantime, use plenty of lubricant and try not to feel frustrated at your body's slowness to feel arouse.